"Two Best Friends, Lost in 'Frisco"

Day One

We departed from scenic Park City, Utah on Friday, June 11^th at approximately 10:30 a.m. Our departure was delayed due to tires which required immediate attention from Mr. Hans Kuhni (Dad, we are ever, EVER, so grateful for your help). After Father took the Camry down to Burt Brother’s Tires and squared us away, we hit the road with tuna sandwiches, apples, chips, Frescas and hot tamales in hand.

We made our way through the salt flats, Wendover, Wells, Elko and Winnemucca with such excitement in our hearts the time passed by with ease. Six small bags of chips, two cookies, one sandwich and plenty of soda later, Toby announced he needed something a little more substantial to help him across the Sierra Nevadas. We took a pit stop in Reno where Toby filled up on an In’N’Out Burger and we continued on our way.

As we made our descent into Sacramento, people were driving faster, the concentration of buildings and houses was getting denser, and we could feel the excitement and electricity buzzing -- we were no longer in Provo. My heart started to tense as we gradually made our way closer to the coast. I did not know what to expect or where we were living.

At 11:00 p.m. Mountain Time, we rounded through Oakland and the Bay Bridge appeared -- the towering San Francisco Sky line and the big city lights overwhelmed us. Tobe shouted for joy and exclaimed, "this is going to be AWESOME!" I cheered as well, but nervousness filled my heart -- Why in the honk did we think we could live in such a big city? In the words of my niece Rozzie, it is "supah hooge."

We whipped out the map my Mother printed off Map-Quest detailing the route to our soon-to-be home. Our anticipation was building as we exited the Bay Bridge and entered the heart of the city. As we turned down the street on which our apartment is located, our hearts relaxed as we saw some dignified looking buildings and clean streets. However, our excitement would soon pass. We rounded another corner and it was as if a can of sleeze exploded on the city block -- we were passing through the red light district of San Francisco.

Crowds of people were spilling out of adult video stores, strip clubs and x-rated shops -- it was Friday night and the red light district was hoppin'. Toby looked at me with his anger in his eyes and said, "I am going to kill the leasing agent," as I scrunched lower and lower into my seat.

We passed through the red light district as quickly as possible and immediately found ourselves on the fringes of Chinatown. Something about the lack of signs in English and the displays of scary-looking dolls and figurines in the windows didn't put my heart at ease. Even when Toby and I tried to crack a few Asian jokes no comfort came. At this point Toby had both hands on the wheel, crouched over in a quazi battle stance. I sat on the edge of the seat hoping with all of my heart I would not have to become a "woman of the night" or speak Chinese to fit in at my new home.

However, a light existed at the end of the tunnel -- literally. At the edge of Chinatown is a tunnel which runs through one of San Francisco's numerous hillsides. As we passed through the tunnel it was as if hope grew afresh in our hearts. We were in a residential neighborhood -- an extremely nice neighborhood. As the Camry idled up to 2000 Broadway St. we were relieved -- no Chinese characters, no flashing lights, but a beautiful building on a quiet street.

It was now our task to find our keys. It was nearing midnight and we had previously arranged to pick up our keys with the 24-hour doorman at another building owned by the same leasing company. With badly drawn maps and newly found optimism, we hit the streets to find Chestnut and Hyde.

The remaining events of the night went as follows:

11:00 p.m. Pacific Time: Using our Map-Quest printout, we decipher Hyde street a mile away.

11:15 p.m.: Hyde street is located, Chestnut is no where to be found.

11:30 p.m.: Annie and Toby arrive at a Shell gas station near the freeway entrance on to I-80. Annie is hesitant to exit the car (again, the city is "supah hooge" and intimidating).

11:35 p.m.: After failing to receive any sort of particle of help from two Caucasian policemen, Annie and Toby receive directions off of the cellphone of a double Red Bull toting Arabic/English man (when I say Arabic/English I mean an Arabic man with an English accent -- his outfit was super stylish I might add).

11:36 p.m.: Our Arabic friend walks into the darkness down a city street never to be seen again. (Where was he going? I still wonder).

12:00 a.m.: After following the directions from the said Arabic man's cellphone, Toby and Annie discover something was lost in translation -- We were at the wrong destination.

1:00 a.m.: After a period of "trial and error" navigating, Annie and Toby discover Hyde and Chestnut. Annie secures keys from doorman.

1:13 a.m.: Second arrival at 2000 Broadway. Annie and Toby discover the keys to the parking garage are not included in the neat "welcome" pamphlet.

1:20 a.m.: Toby executes a prime parallel parking job on an extremely steep incline (seriously, very, VERY nicely done). Annie and Toby start relaying items into new apartment.

2:00 a.m.: With all items unpacked, Annie and Toby blow up sweet air mattress (Costco, $25) and lay down their weary heads.

We were in the City.

Our experience can be summed up in one very well placed phrase. At some point between midnight and 1:00 a.m. on 7th street and Bryant, Toby (who never, ever once became pessimistic or ever complained) looked over at me and said with a chuckle and a smile,

"Two Best Friends, Lost in 'Frisco"

And so begins our tale.

(P.S. I have no idea whatsoever why the font is freaking out in this post. Hopefully it only adds to the drama.)